merry christmas everyone! [ or whoever else is reading].Anyways, sorry if my lingo is off, i'm here at the hospital working right now on christjmas day. I woke up at 4 am to be here at 76am and i leave here at 330pm. Sucks that there's only 9 patients and in 1 hour there will only be 4 left.
PATIENCE. one of my patients is blind. so at first it was a bit awkward because i never dealt with a fully completely legally blind patient, but she taught me patience. Its christmas day and i'm a pretty understandiong person. But patience? I am the most impatient person youll ever meet. Well thats how everyone knows me. But if i were their nurse- i'm someone completely different- i'm pretty still energetic, but i'm patient and sweeter--- much, much sweeter. She's not a fussy lady either, maybe thats why i wasn't so nervous after the first few miniutes. Best gift ever gotten? patience.
merry christmas. jhope everyone got wqhat they wanted
Thursday, December 25
Friday, December 12
bra & ______
No fear.
No distractions.
The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
[ on the grind. i will do well]
Wednesday, December 10
song from gangster
Mmmm... Mmm... oohhmmm...
Could it be the world's gone colder?
Maybe, I'm a losing soul
The more I try it just gets harder
And my pain is getting old
Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours
And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go
Sometimes my burdens get so heavy
And it seems too hard to bear
Sometimes I feel so empty
And it feels like no one's there
Somebody said that nothing lasts forever
Just the storm so I've been told
But it seems that when it rains it pours
And you know the rain won't last forever
And you know the storm won't always flow
But if the sun don't shine forever
You gotta let it go
And you gotta let it go...
And you gotta let it go...
[ the rain dont last; hope]
Mmmm... Mmm... oohhmmm...
Tuesday, December 9
Dear God,
can you make sure that i have a good night or a night of pure bliss, please? thannks- i'll pay you back, promise.
april dawn.
ps. im gonna stop this, do that, and figure out all the stuff in the middle. [ i can handle everything you give me, so that means i can handle myself, right? yessir .. [ oh gosh, here we go]
eargasm: so you can try [ neyo]
can you make sure that i have a good night or a night of pure bliss, please? thannks- i'll pay you back, promise.
april dawn.
ps. im gonna stop this, do that, and figure out all the stuff in the middle. [ i can handle everything you give me, so that means i can handle myself, right? yessir .. [ oh gosh, here we go]
eargasm: so you can try [ neyo]
Monday, December 8
difficult to recover.
FINAL : Nursing 470 8AM [ December 15th, 2008]
Ive been in the library since 230pm and i can barely study- reading, but not really reading. Right now, all i can think about is how i am so close to graduating. I am finally leaving this place in one semester. I mean, Buffalo has taught me so much in regards of reality and what it plans to smack me around with. [ geared up, come and get me]
This semester was just full of its ups and downs, fews and far betweens and all that cream filling in the middle. I am not going to regret anything that was of here- things ive started and ended, things ive lost and things i never got to finish. I finally learned to accept the responsibility for my actions and take all consequences with full force.
They know and well as I do that my past is not the best. Actually, its pretty sad. From lying to my parents, to cheating- jumping from guy to guy to make myself feel better. For keeping my mouth shut and for keeping it open too long [eww, no sexual innuendo intended]..but mainly for allowing myself to let everyone else get to me.
In BLD, we learn that God always forgives and that its you, yourself who does not forgive. It is you that needs to be able to say sorry to yourself and forgive yourself- truly and completely. That is my biggest problem, being able to forgive myself for all the things ive done to others and especially myself. If i were another person looking at me then i would even turn away from myself. That's what i think it is- i hold this heaviness because i am too scared to forgive myself. I am too scared to be happy because i am too mad at myself.
From recent events, ive learned that controlling my temper and forgiveness is the key to keeping everything intact. That it is okay to make mistakes, and it is okay for others to make mistakes too. I am learning- slowly. Its funny how people still manage to love you despite your flaws. I find myself always smiling when one tells you the things that youre not used to hearing-- like the whole hearted i love you, or i missed you. Don't worry- i miss you & love you too. my heart is feeling it... its just shy, i guess.
"i forgive you, aprildawncaterinagaringosantos"
i want someone to listen closely. [ let me sing my song to you]
Ive been in the library since 230pm and i can barely study- reading, but not really reading. Right now, all i can think about is how i am so close to graduating. I am finally leaving this place in one semester. I mean, Buffalo has taught me so much in regards of reality and what it plans to smack me around with. [ geared up, come and get me]
This semester was just full of its ups and downs, fews and far betweens and all that cream filling in the middle. I am not going to regret anything that was of here- things ive started and ended, things ive lost and things i never got to finish. I finally learned to accept the responsibility for my actions and take all consequences with full force.
They know and well as I do that my past is not the best. Actually, its pretty sad. From lying to my parents, to cheating- jumping from guy to guy to make myself feel better. For keeping my mouth shut and for keeping it open too long [eww, no sexual innuendo intended]..but mainly for allowing myself to let everyone else get to me.
In BLD, we learn that God always forgives and that its you, yourself who does not forgive. It is you that needs to be able to say sorry to yourself and forgive yourself- truly and completely. That is my biggest problem, being able to forgive myself for all the things ive done to others and especially myself. If i were another person looking at me then i would even turn away from myself. That's what i think it is- i hold this heaviness because i am too scared to forgive myself. I am too scared to be happy because i am too mad at myself.
From recent events, ive learned that controlling my temper and forgiveness is the key to keeping everything intact. That it is okay to make mistakes, and it is okay for others to make mistakes too. I am learning- slowly. Its funny how people still manage to love you despite your flaws. I find myself always smiling when one tells you the things that youre not used to hearing-- like the whole hearted i love you, or i missed you. Don't worry- i miss you & love you too. my heart is feeling it... its just shy, i guess.
"i forgive you, aprildawncaterinagaringosantos"
i want someone to listen closely. [ let me sing my song to you]
say it, dont spray it.
So, it's over.
He's with someone else and you know her.
And you just can't get any lower.
But sit in the dark alone
and won't answer your phone.
Well, I'm sorry.
I won't attend your pity party.
I'd rather go have calamari
and maybe a drink
And yes, I think
you should come with me.
Life isn't long.
There will be pain but life goes on.
With everyday a brand new song.
But if you'd rather stay at home
let me do you a favor.
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
Mmmm...if that's what you want alright.
Mmmm, I'm a lover.
And the pain of the heart from another
can be difficult to recover.
Yes, this I know,
but difficult isn't impossible.
And you shiver.
Be what you want.
You cry, lips quiver.
Well, honey, go on and cry me a river.
You wanna be down.
Fine, let me help you out.
(Help out.)
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
Oooh, if that's what you want, alright.
Then, if that's what you want, alright.
And your tears won't bring him back.
I know you wish they did.
But, it just don't work like that.
I know that healing takes time.
Even your heart has a pace.
Ah, but how much time are you gonna take?
Too much would be a mistake.
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
If that's what you want, alright.
[[[[[ its nothing pertinent to me; but the song reminds me of my past & all that other nasty stuff.]]]
love love love.
He's with someone else and you know her.
And you just can't get any lower.
But sit in the dark alone
and won't answer your phone.
Well, I'm sorry.
I won't attend your pity party.
I'd rather go have calamari
and maybe a drink
And yes, I think
you should come with me.
Life isn't long.
There will be pain but life goes on.
With everyday a brand new song.
But if you'd rather stay at home
let me do you a favor.
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
Mmmm...if that's what you want alright.
Mmmm, I'm a lover.
And the pain of the heart from another
can be difficult to recover.
Yes, this I know,
but difficult isn't impossible.
And you shiver.
Be what you want.
You cry, lips quiver.
Well, honey, go on and cry me a river.
You wanna be down.
Fine, let me help you out.
(Help out.)
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
Oooh, if that's what you want, alright.
Then, if that's what you want, alright.
And your tears won't bring him back.
I know you wish they did.
But, it just don't work like that.
I know that healing takes time.
Even your heart has a pace.
Ah, but how much time are you gonna take?
Too much would be a mistake.
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the clouds to bring the rain for you today so you can cry.
(If that's what you want, alright.)
I'll ask the sun to shine away from you today so you can cry.
If that's what you want, alright.
[[[[[ its nothing pertinent to me; but the song reminds me of my past & all that other nasty stuff.]]]
love love love.
Sunday, December 7
i just want you
help me find myself like how i found you, ohhh.
i just want you..
"you know what the best thing about being in relationships are? holding them when they cant hold themselves" XD
ugh, i cant stop line dancing.
i just want you..
"you know what the best thing about being in relationships are? holding them when they cant hold themselves" XD
ugh, i cant stop line dancing.
Tuesday, December 2
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