2 months.

as of 12:00 AM today, it had come to me that today marks the 2 months before i say see you at graduation Buffalo, hello Memorial Sloan- Kettering Cancer Institute. See, for the last bits and pieces of the UB School of Nursing curriculum we must choose a hospital to do our preceptorship for 4 weeks, equivalent to 120 hours of being a nurse. We were allowed to do it anywhere we wanted, or anywhere that actually would take us. So my top three choices were Memorial Sloan- Kettering, Mt. Sinai Hospital and Robert Wood Johnson. I received my 1st choice and alas i will be heading back to downstate to fulfill my final requirement before i finally become a graduate of 2009 here at UB. Don't get me wrong, i still have my 10 grueling weeks left of clinical, lecture, seminar and management but i can finally say it, " i am REALLY almost there"

from references to signed_velocious & sassy_santos & even x_luminosity, my stay here in Buffalo has had its extremes of downs & beautiful ups. However, I will not forget all that Buffalo has taught me so far & what it still has left in store for me before i leave. I hope i can take all i can and learn as much as i can to prepare me for the world outside the campus walls and outside the soft sheets of the Santos household.

I am not fixated on the fact that I am graduating and leaving everything & everyone here. I think i am moving forward and i need to make sure my mind, heart and spirit is moving forward as well. I slowly am getting myself back to the way i used to be prior to the broken heart, but part of me still feels a bit dead from all the hurt and pain and as much as a itry to revive it-- it only has its one way to be alive again, but I, myself, am not the answer to this puzzle. Someone has the answer, someone has that key & someone needs to find me.

I will miss the few lovers i have here and the ones that have stayed by my side since the beginning of the downfall in my life, but know that i will never forget them. If anything, i just keep them with me at all times, remembering the times they gave those famous hugs, and came to me when i fell to pieces, and times when they wiped my tears, or cried with me, or even the times they held my hand and made me laugh so hard that i couldnt move my jaw. Those are the few i can never forget and hold their memory so dear to me.

I wont forget the ones that also have hurt me so much either, teaching me that sometimes that you either gotta fight harder or not fight at all because maybe, just maybe, its not your battle to fight--but theirs.

So these next two months, i pray for the best next greatest 2 months of college i could ever have- embracing opportunities to make my day a little brighter and little less stressful. I expect nothing but the best because i know i deserve the best, as well as everyone in the world. EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD DESERVES THE BEST IN EVERYTHING THAT THEY ENCOUNTER, the best for them as well as the best for me.

So i humbly ask to protect me, Father.