run, dont walk.

Today marks 1 week and 2 days until my final. Today marks 1 week and 4 days until i depart with jetblue to start my preceptorship at Sloan on Friday at 1130- 330. It really is now a count down.

Oh don't worry, i havent packed, bid my see you laters, or studied for my final. But i can tell you that i'l growing my nails... once again, let the resolution rise...


So much has happened in the past few months that i've only been able to touch base with in this blogspot. Last night was my last banquet in buffalo. I went to the AASU banquet and once again, love was tested. I don't know how to explain this situation but i know i can relate to the people that didn't want to dance---i was scared. But with good friends and forgiveness at his right side, i was able to leave smiling.

I don't think i'm able to recover fully from all the things that have bam whammed me in the face. But i know that i can still move forward and spin circles around it too while im at it. When my friend Adam was salsa spinning me last night, i felt like i was floating away from all the bad stuff, and also felt like my guard was coming down again. I don't do salsa, but for some reason, i just wanted something out of my element to snap me back into my element.

I think thats what it is, falling out of my element. I can get angry, and sad and even frustrated, but that just added to me getting out of my element. Now, i can see & now its time to get back into my element. Too bad, i can't remember what my element is exactly.

One phrase keeps ringing in my head though-- " i know, but she's not really gonna go anywhere in life with that"; hmmpherdink. I make decisions solely on the fact that it can protect me. It will protect me; and people should respect that- no matter what they think and no matter what they want. alyssa is right, should i kill myself again for someone who is only wanting my presence for their happiness? i thought so.

i decided to plan something really special before i leave. i just need a car and a brain.


i'll edit and write more later. dance time.


God,
help me spin circles... like a ninja.


april