tony isidro.

message 1:
Subject: APRIL!

Hey Best Friend..
Thank you so much for being there for me April Santos! It's been a really crazy few months and I'm trying to establish a level or normalcy which is proving to be a lot harder than I thought. I'm kind of waiting adrift on an oarless boat in the middle of the ocean right now just waiting for my signal. A flickering light in somewhere in the 360 degrees of horizon out there.

But don't forget that I can never forget about you.. Like ever! You and I will always be in this together and I miss you and I love you and I just wish all the good things in life for you this year.



message 2:
I'm totally out of it with Facebook.. the new format is so different it's kind of confusing. I know I haven't been accessible to anyone for a while, and it totally sucks but I'm really going places in life.. I know I am. I'll be paving the way for a better more stable future that I hope you'll be a big part of. It'll be awesome. I was in Manila for a while but now I'm DE with a cousin of mine trying to take care of so many things at the same time. But it's nothing special; everyone needs to juggle different aspects in their lives in order to find equilibrium you know? Emotionally I'm pretty stable, grounded and calculated. I wish I could say the same about other aspects. But I can't complain..
But what about you? I want to hear about all those crazy things that happened in detail. I know the ever-present distance between us is a major hindrance, but whenever you want to cry or feel sad if you want you can sharpie my name to one of your pillows and hug me whenever. Distance? Bah. Distance schmistance.

Speaking of distance, I think we've come a long way. I guess so far that it's kind of hard to hold onto memories that were once so clear to me. Memories of when I was just a kid. Names, faces, colors and shapes and sounds are fading away as the years accumulate behind me.
I'm not or at least I sincerely hope I'm not the same guy you used know in his late awkward teens trying to figure himself out. And maybe that's not such a bad thing. But if you really step back and think about it, it really hasn't been that far. I suppose I'm constantly reminding myself how young we really are. 50 years from now I have a feeling that I'll be at a get-together meeting a person who brings up your name in conversation and I'll say "April? April Santos? Oh I was just with her last weekend! We were chucking jello-filled water balloons at the paparazzi. Yeah she's awesome!" And if you think of it that way it's not just us that are young, but our friendship you know? This 7 year old friendship of ours is just the very very beginning. I know it. What I don't know is how the heck I got so lucky.



times like these make me smile, especially prior to an exam. Past few weeks have been going so fast that i feel like im living them whole heartedly, but i feel like i can't full breathe in all that is happening around me. Fiesta was a success, Ball was beautiful and Valentine's Day was bliss.

Thank you God for providing me the strength to get through what i needed to go through. Thank you for the hard times but most of all staying close to me when i was breaking apart to a million pieces. I would go into detail much more but i have a large exam that i must do well on in less than 24 hours, but know that i am content right now.

Yes, there are some holes that still have managed to be kept open, but in my heart lies its space for forgiveness and for fullfillment once again.


forever & a day,
aprildawn.


ps. maybe tony is right, distance schmistance.