Ephphatha.

Mk 7:31-37
Again Jesus left the district of Tyreand went by way of Sidon to the Sea of Galilee,into the district of the Decapolis. And people brought to him a deaf man who had a speech impedimentand begged him to lay his hand on him.He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s earsand, spitting, touched his tongue;then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him,“Ephphatha!”— that is, “Be opened!” —And immediately the man’s ears were opened,his speech impediment was removed,and he spoke plainly. He ordered them not to tell anyone. But the more he ordered them not to,the more they proclaimed it. They were exceedingly astonished and they said,“He has done all things well. He makes the deaf hear and the mute speak.”

On Sunday at mass, Father Victor touched based upon howm as humans, we have the ability to hear with our ears. We even have a set of ears for even a better way to hear sounds, words, voice et cetera. However, as we all hear externally, we also can hear internally- our conscience for one thing- telling us whats right and wrong- to tell us to drive forward or slow down. We can also hear God- what he wants and what is truly right for us as individuals and as one with Him. Alas, its the aspect of listening. We hear people but do we ever listen? I, for one, do not listen to alot of things and honestly, choose to be blatantly oblivious to the world around me. I guess you can say i waste my eyes and my ears and only use my mouth to stick lots and lots of food instead of using my lips to really express myself - my needs and my wants ( Morely, His needs and His wants that fulfill me) But, it is time to be open. To not close everyone out, especially Him, but to be open- i have my brown eyes and my ears to listen and to see and to take in.

I took the time to really listen yesterday and today and also took the time to reflect what has been going on in the past week ever since he had left for school. I went to BLD and found myself wanting to sign up for LSS. I knew that I needed to talk to Stephanie but no matter how much i stray from BLD and still do the things i do, i realized that i do need God in my life and i just feel way too ashamed to let Him back in my life.

I found out that deaths do come in 3s- RIP Courtney Tirri, Christine Muriano and to the person that meant something to the secretary at Kaplan. I wasnt close to any of the three, if anything Courtney, I actually spent time with and for some odd reason, i feel her pain. Christine Muriano was a daughter of a newly graduated Solo Parent Encounter class. I didnt want to go to her wake since i felt that it wouldve been rude to have gone not knowing her at all whatsoever, but they were my ride and i needed to go to BLD this past friday. I ended up singing during the service and ending up crying alot. The story behind her death is really sad and estranged. I pray for the family. The last person was a random but still had my heart feeling sad. He had died at the age of 26 from Cystic Fibrosis- a respiratory and gastrointestinal disease that many people do not survive past the age of 21 years old. The relation was the secretary at Kaplan, I had spoken to her and I ended up consoling her about her friend and in the end, I did actually make her feel better. I pray for all three and pray that God will take care of the rest:)

Im starting the LSS process and my hearts been beating me senselessly. Im scared to get hurt, im scared to fail [again], im scared to fall apart, im scared to lose myself. Im scared that im lost and im just attaching myself to anything that just stands.

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all
I see Painted faces fill the places
I can't reach

You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
and all you know
and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up
I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat

I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me,
someone like me
Someone like me,
somebody
I'm ready now,
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
Someone like you
somebody
Someone like you,
somebody
Someone like you
somebody
I've been roaming around,
I was looking down at all I see

<33 I really could use somebody. God- its just you and me.


Forever and a day,
April Dawn